Spirit of Chastity: 10 Year Anniversay Surprise

10 years.

That is how long my husband and I have been married already.

Amazing how fast the years can go!

I'm planning a little something special for him on our upcoming anniversary on August 26th.

I have done lots of commissions and drawn a number of portraits of other people's kids.
And while I've done a couple pictures of our daughters as infants, I have yet to do a portrait with all of them together. He's mentioned in the past that he'd like one to put up on our wall.

That is my gift to him!

With summer staycationing, beginning a new year of homeschooling, and, well, just life in general with 6 kids, I wasn't able to start my portrait in time to have it completed by the day of our anniversary.
But it's the thought that counts.

And the old saying goes:
You can't rush a masterpiece!

So stay tuned. . .when I'm done I'll share the finished product :)

Spirit of Chastity: An MC Retreat Talk on Vows, Marriage and Otherwise

A few years back I was blessed to be able to attend my first, and only, LMC retreat. I traveled from Virginia to Scranton, PA--a four hour drive--by myself . My life at that time was difficult to say the least as I was learning to surrender and humble myself to life's circumstances and God's providence. My husband had been a District Manager of Circuit City when the company went bankrupt. He lost his job and couldn't find a new one in the economic recession. We slowly lost everything. We had to move with our four daughters in with my parents. The idea of a retreat was appealing.

I suppose it was emotional exhaustion from our recent loss of livelihood coupled with a deep self-accusing feeling of sinfulness (mind you, I am a former teen mom with a less than polished past, to put it nicely--self forgiveness is an ongoing issue of mine :) that overwhelmed me emotionally. I spent a good part of the retreat in tears! Lol, not what I was expecting. But it ended up being one of the most beautiful, memorable, and important experiences in my life. I went in crying and came out radiating.

One the priests giving the retreat was Msgr. Esseff. He was absolutely amazing! He was a spiritual director and confessor of Mother Teresa, gives spiritual retreats to the MC sisters around the world, and occasionally to us LMCs too. He recently gave direction to some sisters at a retreat in Australia. You can hear an array of podcasts on his web page called, Building a Kingdom of Love. I recommend you listen to any (if not all) of his talks, but I am sharing with you this one in particular on vows. Msgr. Esseff has some beautiful words to share not only on religious vows, but on marriage vows as well.

I hope you enjoy:
The Vow – Session 2 Day 7 of the Australian Spiritual Retreat

If the link does not work, try visiting his web page for the full list of recorded sessions, and listen from there.

Chastity: Rehashed Marriage Tips

I've mentioned previously that my husband and I have been in an almost 14 year relationship.
I'm only 30.

Our "serious" relationship began only after my teenage pregnancy at 17. We've been through a lot as a couple over these number of years. We've done a lot of maturing and growing up together and at times growing apart. I'm not the person I was at 16 or 17 years old (thank God) and neither is he (thank you God for that too). So needless to say, we've needed a bit of marital assistance along the way. I'm not ashamed to share that. I'm being real. Marriage is difficult. My marriage is no exception.

"The more difficult the struggle, the more glorious the triumph."

from the movie, The Butterfly Circus

This article was shared with us by our marriage counselor. I'm passing it along to you. It offered some good advice and jumping off points when evaluating and discussing our marriage relationship:


Denis Lowe, Ph.D., director of the Center for the Family at Pepperdine University, has conducted extensive research on marital happiness. The six most important traits are:


A sense of companionship. "This is particularly important midmarriage. Being one another's best friend is what draws couples together at the beginning of a relationship, but successful marriages find a way to cultivate that feeling over time, which is not easy to do, "Dr. Lowe says. It's easy to get pulled in different directions by kids, older parents, work and hobbies.

Active commitment to one another. Sure, marriage vows are a statement of commitment, but living them day after day requires finding specific ways of constantly saying, "This is the most important relationship relationship of my life," Dr. Lowe notes. The bonds of marriage should supersede relationship with children, colleagues and the families we grew up in.

Effective communication. It's not just talk. You need to get your point across in a way that increases the likelihood your spouse will really listen, such as talking nicely rather than accusingly; listening in order to better understand your spouse; and negotiating through differences.


The ability to manage conflict, change amd adversity. All couples hit bumps in the road, which can include unemployment, legal or financial problems, tragedies, even affairs. "When some couples run into a snag they figure, 'Something must be wrong with our marriage,'" Dr. Lowe says. "Long-married couples know they'll experience their share of adversity and work as a team to resolve it."

A sense of trust and safety. Each partner needs to feel safe enough to share any fear, doubt or failure without it being held against her or shared with others.

A balance between togetherness and separateness. Too much togetherness can create a sense of smothering and control; too much time apart puts the relationship at risk.

(Woman's Day, August 2002, pg. 78)