Monday, January 2, 2012

New Year's Resolution

Happy New Year 2012!

Amongst my usual spiritual resolutions this year I set a few other goals for myself. I’ve mentioned it before, but this week I’ll make it happen—make it real. I’m going ahead with an art business. Tomorrow I’ll be marching down to the Commissioner of the Revenue and will be registering my business name. I’ll be applying for my business license shortly thereafter.


I’m so nervous about it all. A little voice in my head tells me not to do it, I’m not good enough, I’ll fail. I have to admit the voice makes me hesitate. Makes me want to turn and run. It’s been a long time since I’ve tried to reach for anything—out of fear of failure. But that safety from failure has also gotten me nowhere. And there is no one to blame but myself.

I've had this feeling for some time, in my soul, that great things would happen for me in my 30s—my time was coming. Last year, 2011, especially was trying on every aspect of my life: spiritually, financially, maritally, socially. . . I bore my trials and carried my cross. Now, if I allow it—if I make it happen—great things will happen.

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
~ T. S. Eliot

Maybe I will fail. Perhaps my art venture will flop. But 1) At least I tried to reach for something. At least I risked it. I’ll never accomplish anything great if I don’t risk failing; 2) I feel like I’m supposed to be doing this. And if my goal in life is doing God’s will, it doesn’t matter whether I’m a success or a failure. I believe Mother Teresa said something along those lines; 3)I'm not setting out to conquer the art world (**smiles**) only to do whatever work--whatever commissions-- God will have me to do. I need not be great; I can take the pressure off my back. Even if I only do but a few commissions, and they make a difference to whoever it is that receives them, my work is accomplished. Again, Mother Teresa speaks not to be concerned about numbers, she always thinks "One". As a Lay Missionary of Charity, a follower of Mother Teresa's order, her example means a lot to me :)

And I won't be going it alone. I'll have my patron saint , St. Catherine of Bologna, holding my hand and my numerous "fans" (you know who you are) encouraging me on until I can do it for myself. Success or failure, good things are going to happen this year.

I wish the best for each of you and your loved one's 
 this New Year!